When I first like someone, I can think only of them -- nothing else. It used to be there was no end to this honeymoon period and I would forever reminisce about the cute boy who worked at Rita's (just one of many such instances).
Lately, I've found that my ability to get over a guy has increased tenfold.
It's likely not a good thing that I have learned to pick people apart and decide whether or not I'm truly attracted to them. I might just be too critical.
I find it incredible that even the sound of a guy's voice can become annoying -- even when it was part of the initial attraction.
Things like a guy's failure to open doors or the way they dress can break the attraction.
What does this all mean?
I think I have become too desensitized. I have been attracted to too many boys, thinking that they must like me too because -- well, he just made steady eye contact with me for upwards of 30 seconds -- and these little crushes never came to fruition in any way. I have come to believe that no one is ever attracted to me -- because honestly, a guy making eye contact can't mean he's interested. He's just being friendly.
"A wise person once told me that if a guy wants to be with a girl, he will make it happen, no matter what," Gigi says in He's Just Not That Into You. And it's hard to disagree. If a guy truly wanted to be with you, he'd make it happen, right? Or at least, he'd respond in kind to one of your moves.
Sure, guys can be intimidated by girls but where does that end? Why is it that the girl's supposed to buck up and make the move? When was it that men decided women had to go 90 percent, and in some cases the full 100?
So after all of this -- the rejections and being blatantly ignored -- I have learned to pick the bones clean so that there isn't a scrap of desire left.
Maybe some day, my Prince Philip will come and with love's true kiss, wake me from the deep slumber that is cynicism.
But then again, I doubt it.
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