False advertising

Sometimes I wish I had been born the petite, gorgeous cheerleader type. You know the one I mean. She catches the eye of every guy she passes. And she's got kissy pictures on her Facebook with the star athlete, the one every girl wishes she had.

She's not necessarily the nicest person and she's very likely not the smartest person you've ever met. She probably can't hold a conversation about anything of consequence. But she's happy. She's got a big, hunky man at her beck-and-call, one who normal girls convince themselves could see them the way they are but who'll never notice them because he'll probably marry the cheerleader. And maybe in a few years, when they've got kids and she's put on weight, maybe then they'll be a little less happy but don't bank on it. They're the golden couple.

I have a theory that god doesn't hand out a beautiful face and good physique to the same people he grants intelligence. It just doesn't happen.

But then again it does. I know girls who are naturally... just gorgeous and built and they're smart. Why them?

Why do I sit here pining after the star athlete who has already found his cheerleader?

Because I'm pathetic. Because that's the way it's designed. It's naturally good advertising. It's nature's way of convincing us that the world can be happy and beautiful and that we can find someone.

Well, bull-fucking-shit. It's false advertising. Because the non-cheerleader girls will always pine after the star athlete even when there's a perfectly adorable band geek standing by. I'm not sure if regular Joes generally pine after the cheerleader girl, but certainly the "beautiful" athletic boys do.

(The above picture is of Dianna Agron as Quinn Fabray from FOX's hit TV show Glee.)