Romantic words we have trouble saying

I want to grow old loving you. 

This was the sentiment of one of the more romantic Valentine's Day cards I saw at Rite-Aid yesterday. I wanted to buy it because I do feel that way about my boyfriend. Feeling this way and saying it out loud (or even in a card) are very different concepts.

Most girls, I think, myself included, are scared to actually share these words with our boyfriends. What if he thinks I'm crazy? Or, What if he doesn't feel the same way? Many of these are the same doubts that arise when we consider saying those three words, "I love you."

And certainly, our parents would think we're crazy. Who could know that they would want something for the rest of their lives? Sure, our perspectives will change over time.

But it's not totally crazy. There are roughly 1.5 million people living in Philadelphia and of them, only nine percent are divorced and only 3.9 percent are separated.

On Friday, The Wall Street Journal published an article by 23-year-old writer David Lapp who married his wife when she was 21 and he was 22. Lapp argues that not all "early marriages" are doomed, citing the following statistics:

While it's true that teenage marriages are a significant predictor of divorce, it turns out that marriages of people in their early to mid-20s are not nearly as much at risk. According to a 2002 report from the Centers for Disease Control, 48% of people who enter marriage when under age 18, and 40% of 18- and 19-year-olds, will eventually divorce. But only 29% of those who get married at age 20 to 24 will eventually divorce—very similar to the 24% of the 25-and-older cohort.

While I'm not thinking marriage at the moment, I wonder what the harm is in saying the words "I want to grow old loving you"? It's one of the most romantic notions I've ever heard. Why does the female perception of her male lover have her convinced that he couldn't handle such a serious and lovely thought?

Surely, there are some men like David Lapp who, even if they're not driven to marry you right this second, can handle the idea of a long-term relationship.

But maybe it's the kind of thing you should wait to say until you want to and can act on it. Perhaps the risk that the person you want to say it to now won't be the person you grow old loving is really what keeps us from saying it -- after all, these words would lose their power if you said them to more than one person in a lifetime.

In the end, I chose a card with punch-out coupons for sexier gestures.

photo from Think Geek