Why is it so difficult to let past transgressions go, especially when they could be hurting our chances with someone new? I find it so difficult to watch a friend struggle with trusting someone new because of old hurts. Lately, it is the very situation I have been finding myself in. I am watching as my friend Kay struggles to trust what this very new, very cute guy is telling her because she is so worried about protecting herself, and nothing I say or do will help her to trust while still keeping a close watch on her heart.
I have been in her place, scared and afraid, tormented by the emotional pain I had been put through because the people I trusted had done me wrong. I was scared to trust new people but by nature, I still did trust to a degree. That's the thing about me. I can't help but trust people. Even when I want to put walls up, I can't help but tear them down--or let someone else do the work--but usually the walls don't get but waist-high before I let someone in. And I'm not talking just romantically.
Why is it so hard for others of us, when for some (like me) it comes so naturally, to trust someone when they've never hurt us?
And why, when some people are so hesitant to trust a new person because of the things others have done, do others give second--and thousandth--chances to the very same people who have hurt them?
The only reason I can come up with is this: we make judgements about people every day, little split-second decisions about those we come into contact with. Some of these we question constantly and others we maintain, even when the people our judgements have been proven wrong again and again. So maybe the question is really: Why do some judgements stick and others don't?
I have no clue. Maybe you do?
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