Love Lesson No. 3: Shared Interests Aren't Everything

This is a series of lessons I've learned about love, arranged in no particular order. These lessons have been gleaned from personal experience, friends' stories, movies, books, magazine articles, etc. If you want to share a lesson you've learned about love, email me (rosellaeleanor@gmail.com).

When Tom Hansen described how perfect Summer was for him, his little sister said something very wise. "Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate," she told him.

Tom's preoccupation with his and Summer's shared interests in "(500) Days of Summer" is something a lot of us have shared. When people look for partners, they tend to focus on shared interests, thinking that being able to talk for hours about something or other means they will never run out of things to talk about.

I've been reading Lori Gottlieb's incredible book, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, and one of the things she discovered in interviewing experts and regular people who have done the same is that shared interests are not most important to making a relationship work.

What's really important is shared values and personality traits like patience, honesty and understanding. These are the things that determine a couple's compatibility and what gets them through life together.

Do you find yourself too concerned with shared interests when it comes to scoping out potential partners?