True love is easy

I arrived home today after spending two days snowed in with Chris, and remembered that although my Harper's Bazaar had arrived a week or two ago, I hadn't found time to read it. Sitting down to catch up on "Cougar Town" and "Castle," I flipped through the national glossy magazine, which in the recent past has seemingly only published articles about topics other than fashion if they're book excerpts.

In the February 2011 issue of HB, there is a one-page article by Alex Kuczynkski, who normally covers beauty topics and wrote a book called Beauty Junkies, about the secret to a happy marriage. That secret? Ease.

She argues that one should not have to "work" at marriage; that the love should be easy and continue to grow, not diminish. "But the notion that we ought to choose to remain in love doesn't wash with me anymore," Kuczynkski writes. "Love is a commitment, but the idea of choosing to work at your marriage sounds like a drag."

I may not be married, but I definitely agree. Love should not be hard. And drama does not a happier or more meaningful coupling make.

Sure, we're all in love with that idea of being kept apart from your love and reuniting after seven long years only to have to choose between the life your parents want for you and the life your heart wants for you. It's also romantic to think that a couple can fight every day and still be madly in love with each other. (Yes, I'm referring to The Notebook.)

And hell yeah, it's beyond romantic to think of falling for the poor but handsome and charming young man whose love will cost you a life in the lap of luxury. And it's even more romantic -- although bone-chillingly tragic -- to lose that young man when he lets you use the floating piece of wood to keep you out of the freezing water. (Yes, I'm referring to The Titanic.)

Call it the greatest love of all time, but two teenagers from rival families who decide to kill each other to be together? Sounds like a couple of emo, whiny bitches to me. (Yes, I'm disputing the believability of Romeo & Juliet.)

But is it the case that Allie and Noah's union was a happier one just because they bounced back from a dramatic separation? Could Rose's lost love have had any more meaning than any other girl falling in love with any other boy and not having to experience the loss of that love? Just because two impetuous youngsters decide after a matter of weeks that they'll die if they can't be together, does that mean that they're love for each other was stronger than two normal, well-adjusted adults could feel for each other?

"Frankly, it should be easy. It should be a joy almost every day to be married, to feel relief and gratitude, and if it isn't you're in the wrong marriage... The secret to a happy marriage is finding the right person and remaining faithful," Kuczynzki writes.

Switch out every "marriage" in that quote for "relationship" and it applies to courtships, too.

It's truly dreamy to love someone without the bawling and the hair-pulling-out. It can be just as blissful and substantial going home to someone who rubs your back just because it makes you smile.

(Picture from weheartit.)