Helpless.

Watching Stepmom, with a headache, when I already feel bummed out for a reason I can't lay a finger on, probably wasn't the smartest idea I have ever had. Every time I watch this movie I end up sobbing.

But today I already feel like sobbing without having to watch Susan Sarandon suffer through chemotherapy while another woman becomes such a big part of her children's lives.

I don't know why. I should be happy. But somehow, I never really am. There's always something missing. And I feel like I've written posts about these same feelings a million times...

They recur constantly.

And I try to fill that void I feel. Probably why I've been working myself to the bone lately (two internships, writing for The Temple News, blogging -- although that's been sporadic lately, and for this I do apologize just in case anyone's actually reading this). I love writing, don't get me wrong but I think the reason I've been doing so much is so that I can avoid thinking about this void inside.

I cannot figure out for the life of me where it comes from. And it terrifies me that I can feel empty for some reason I know not of. If I don't know the root of the problem, how can I ever weed my life of it?

Emptiness.

Why?

Why?

Why?

I feel so helpless.