Me's Company

She sat in front of me on my last bus toward home. Four foot tall at the most and toothpick thin with all her hair in a single high braid. With cheerleader cadence, she chanted, "Oh my GAWD, Becky, look at her butt." With that she clapped her tiny hands, flashed a peace sign and said, "Deuces." Over and over.

Probably five years old, she was entertaining herself because Mommy, seated ahead of her, was painting her nails over the 3-month-old in a stroller and ignoring the older child.

Soon, the little girl was singing Ms. Mary Mack into not just black but red and purple. When her mother finally turned around to shush her, it dawned on me: It's so important to learn to entertain yourself.

That little girl's mother is not the first woman I've watched ignore her children on SEPTA. Many of them engage in long phone conversations and turn a cold eye on their children.

I'm not a mother so I don't know exactly what it's like to have a little person demanding your attention constantly, but I remember being that kid, the kid who just wanted Mommy to focus solely on her (and completely forget that other little person they called my sister). These women hurt my heart every time they scream "What the fuck is wrong witchu?" at a crying babe.

But maybe what I consider to be poor parenting will pay off in the long run for those kids. That tiny 5-year-old on the bus today was clearly determined to enjoy her own company, even if her mother wouldn't, and I thought, Maybe she'll learn to be comfortable with herself and learn how to do things on her own.

A friend of mine wrote a column for our school newspaper a few weeks ago asking others not to pity her because she actually enjoys eating her lunch alone some days, and I applauded her. I, too, enjoy eating alone some days. There are times at work when a coworker will talk my ear off while I munch on my American hoagie and all I want to do is politely ask her to leave me alone.

For a really long time, I've been practicing being alone. Even surrounded by others, I can be alone in my head. And sometimes I really crave it. I think it's totally healthy as long as you also enjoy social activities (which I do).

So while she sang of Ms. Mary Mack-Mack-Mack all dressed in purple, that 5-year-old got a knowing, appreciative smile from me. Maybe some day she'll be riding the bus on her own, happy to be alone with her thoughts like me.

(Above image of Marilyn Monroe from popculturenerd.com)