(I just found this -- today, January 24, 2010 -- and decided that it totally belonged on here so I'm posting it under the date it was written: June 10, 2009.)
Honestly, I have so many feelings about my impending graduation and the last four years I've spent at the Philadelphia High School for Girls. Mostly, though, I just can't wait for this all to be behind me because I can't take it anymore. The stress is getting to me. I could handle the academics with (almost) no difficulty but this whole "sisterhood" thing is a trip. Our class, which we're supposed to be proud of and represent proudly, is nothing but a big group of really mean-spirited girls. Most of the girls who will stand on that stage with me next Wednesday believe they are entitled to everything and for what reason? Some of them, I'm sure, have not worked half as hard as some of us have to get here.
Some of these girls stomp their feet and suck their thumbs and throw temper tantrums--as in the struggle over our graduation song. These girls are the same ones who moaned that we weren't graduating from the Kimmel Center as previous classes did and who didn't pay the twenty-nine dollars or sell pizzas to raise money for the Liacouras Center. These are the girls who don't give a monkey's a** about their classes but will shell out $210 for two prom tickets and spend hundreds on dresses, shoes, accessories, hair and nails but refuse to pay their class dues, money required from every student.
There are girls in my class who tell you they're your best friend and the minute your back is turned, will dump all over you. In fact, there are girls who you've never had a problem with who will talk shit about you--right in front of your face--to some girl you're having problems with just because those two are friends. There are girls who insist they are right--even when they're DEAD WRONG--and will roll their eyes if you answer a question correctly.
I've never been surrounded by a group, of any size, that was so filled with disappointing people. And I'm supposed to find something to be happy about in these last few days before graduation?
So few girls there are capable of the selflessness it takes to be a good friend. Everything is always about them. I admit I feel that way OCCASIONALLY--but when I have earned it and no other time than that--but these girls think everything ought to be about them. They will cry on your shoulder or tell you melodramatic tales about their sordid love lives but they give the cold shoulder to anyone who wants to talk about themselves for five minutes.
And I still can't believe there are girls with the gall to say another won't make it where she's headed when this girl is beyond prepared for her future.
Sick, sick, sick.
I'm so disgusted.
To the people who keep pissing me off, I say the words of The Academy Is..., "Let all your small steps expose your secrets." Those of us taking big leaps toward the things we want--the important stuff--will make it, whether or not you believe in us. So, whatever.
